Revelations in the Upside Down Kingdom - Hayley

This being my sixth mission trip, I thought I knew everything to expect. I knew the food we would have, the schedule of each day, and even a bit of the format of the service we did. I was prepared for anything, right? Or so I thought. The first day started out as any other, a barbeque pork sandwich for dinner followed by the informing of rules and the Youthworks program. All was going as usual, until I was told of my site that I would visit each day and serve at for the rest of the week, the Boys and Girls Club in the Tenderloin. It was a kind of thing that I had never done on a mission trip before; I usually got assigned to multiple services of working at food banks, visiting elderly homes, or the cleaning of facilities. That was the first curve ball God threw at me, but of course God had a greater plan in mind that I had realized at the time.

I thought I knew what to expect, I had done VBS many a time so how could this be any different? When I walked down the streets of the San Francisco Tenderloin, I knew that it would not be the case. So much brokenness and sorrows plagued the streets, these kids are in harder circumstances than I could ever imagine dealing with. Although that was not seen as I walked through the doors of the club, I was greeted by many kids filled with jubilance playing all around the room. I decided my goal, was to connect with at least one of them, however it turned out I bonded with countless of them instead. I helped many girls with fuse beads while laughing with them, reading with them and helping with words they struggled with, and played various games with the kids. I didn’t think I made much of a difference, until I slowly realized as the days progressed and the last day when saying goodbye to this tight knit community, that allowed sanctity for the kids from the place they lived and the people they lived with, how much I had touched some of the kids and how much they had touched me. Before saying goodbye, to each one I talked to I made sure to tell them that they were all valuable, and they had the power to do great good in their lives. As I spoke these words, I saw hope light up in their eyes, and I saw Gods presence held there beneath the surface. These kids made me connected to God in a way I didn’t even know before, and for that I’m truly grateful.

The theme of this trip, the Upside Down Kingdom, was also a key factor to the spiritual revelation I had during this trip that I am so glad for. Which of course, was also an intention by God. Before entering this trip, I thought I was fine. I believed in God, I went to church, and I tried to follow the rules that supposedly made me a good Christian. However as I learned about God’s kingdom, and what it means to be a true follower, I realized I was not. I have been half-hearted, not seeking God with all my heart, mind, body, and soul. I didn’t know how distant I had been from Him till these incredible lessons about God and his kingdom and the discussions that came from it. Little did I know how desperately I needed to fix my relationship with God. I have always been trying to fix everything for myself, stressing over many things and planning ahead instead of giving myself over to God. I realized when I pray, they had become empty words. But through this week, I had felt God working within me and through me, trying to guide me to Him. After figuring this out, my prayers became more surreal than ever before. Although my relationship with Him is still broken, I have felt Him reaching out to me. And for once, I have been firmly grasping onto his hands.

Realizing that my relationship with God isn’t what I thought it was, it will be a hard journey to fixing it and learning I do not have to do it alone.  He is a great savior of the world that demands His people to follow him and love Him over all things. Through all the mission trips, I have had so many amazing experiences, learning a lot along the way. But this mission trip, although emotionally draining and difficult, has opened me up and shown me the path God wants me to be on. I have seen God enlighten many of us through this trip in ways we weren’t expecting, that’s why I’m thankful that God always does the unexpected in His Upside Down Kingdom.