Losing Control

I'll be honest here. I'm...a bit of a control freak. It's part of the reason why I have problems with anxiety. When I feel out of control of my life and things go wrong, it's a very uncomfortable emotion for me. But during a mission trip like this, where you have no say in what kinds of things you'll be doing and you have to give up a lot of familiar comforts, my need to have the reigns on every aspect of my life is something that needs to but put aside. After all, I can't waste time obsessing over whether the children at the Boy's and Girl's club will like more or what to say to the terminally ill that I will be working with at project Open Hand. I need to dive in wholeheartedly, regardless of my fears.
Although this may be difficult for me, the fact that I have less control over my life means that I put that control in God's hands. And he is definitely good at that job. He is the one who kept me safe when walking across the perilously high Golden Gate Bridge. He guided my words when being introduced to new people from all walks of life. And he is the one who makes my heart one worthy of showing his glorious love.
Sara brought up the point last night that when we take risks, our potential for loss is greater, but so is our potential for gain. We should be this way with God-going to the ends of the Earth and facing our greatest fears to spread his gospel to everyone. I know that in releasing my own inhibitions, I can do things I never thought I'd be able to while here at San Francisco. So in a way, it's less like letting go of control and more like moving closer to God. And that's always a wonderful thing.
 Please keep me and the rest of our group in your prayers this week, and make sure to ask us all more about our experiences once we return home. Thanks and God bless.
-Lauren Taylor